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About Glasgow

First off, it’s shady as hell. You don’t just stroll up to some gal and go, “Hey, how’s biz?” Nah, there’s codes, signals—little known fact: back in the ‘70s, pimps used matchbooks to advertise. Dropped ‘em at bars, scribbled numbers inside. Clever, but sleazy. I hate clever sleaze. Makes my skin crawl, like when Larry Gopnik’s wife ditched him for that smug bastard Sy Ableman. “I’m a serious man,” Larry whines—yeah, me too, pal, ‘til I’m scoutin’ hookers.

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But then, outta nowhere, I get a call. It’s my mate, Dave. He’s like, “You won’t believe this! There’s a tree down on the docks!” I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” So, I rush over, and sure enough, there’s this massive tree just sprawled out like it’s had one too many pints.

Council to consider ACV status amid fears woods and playing fields could be developed