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About Manchester

What pisses me off? Ghostin’. You’re vibin’, sextin’, then—poof! Gone. “You’re alone now,” like in the movie—cuts deep. Happened to me once, mid-chat, she just vanished. Was I too creepy? Too Hannibal? Nah, people just suck. But when it works—oh, mate, it’s gold! Met this lass, fiery redhead, we clicked instant. Sex-dating jackpot! She was all, “Let’s skip the bullshit,” and I’m like, “Yes, ma’am!” Best night ever—felt like a king, not a prisoner.

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m like, “Okay, time to meet Dave.” I head over to the pub on the corner of The Avenue. It’s a local spot, and I love it. I walk in, and it’s packed. Dave’s already there, looking like he’s been waiting forever.

Comedian and Royal Grammar School alumnus Jimmy Carr says he almost died as a child