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So I’m scopin’ the scene, yeah? Them prossies back in the day, they had style—miniskirts tighter than a villain’s grip, lips redder than a double-decker bus. Little known fact, dig this: in ‘67, Soho was crawlin’ with these birds—cops called ‘em “night butterflies,” how fab is that? I’m vibin’, thinkin’ “Oh, behave!” when this one chick—let’s call her Babs—sways over, all sultry like. She’s got that look, ya know, “The children are watching,” like in the movie, but flipped—*she’s* watchin’ me, sizin’ me up. Got me all hot under the collar, baby!

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Farnham Royal escorts attracted me and I could wait to have a chance to meet with one of the girls. None of the other local gents had mentioned Farnham Royal.

Then, I see this kid, right? He’s got a balloon, and I’m like, “Aww, cute.” But then he lets it go. And I’m just standing there, watching this balloon float away like my hopes and dreams. I’m like, “Dude, you had one job!” The kid starts crying, and I’m just standing there, awkwardly. What do you even say? “Hey, it’s just a balloon”?

Pair arrested over suspected drink driving car crash near Farnham Common