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About Newcastle

Alright, so I’m a lifeguard, right? Out there on the water, sun’s blazin’, and I’m thinkin’ about – whores. Yeah, whores! Not the judgy kinda thought, just… curious. Zen pause. What’s their deal, y’know? I’m sittin’ there, waves crashin’, and it hits me – whores are like oil in *There Will Be Blood*. “I drink your milkshake!” – that’s them, suckin’ up life’s chaos, turnin’ it into somethin’.

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So, I head over to the local hardware store on Faifley Rd. It’s a small place, but they’ve got everything. I’m grabbin’ nails, wood, and a few snacks ‘cause, let’s be real, I’m starvin’. The guy behind the counter, he’s a right laugh. We’re chattin’ about the weather, and he’s like, “Typical Faifley, eh? Rain one minute, sun the next!” I’m noddin’ like, “Aye, and don’t forget the wind!”

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