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About Newcastle

I spot this bird—legs for days, winkin’ at me. Heart’s racin’, palms sweaty—accountant life didn’t prep me for this! “Are you as close as you appear?” I mutter, quotin’ *Her*, all poetic-like. She laughs, says, “50 quid, love.” Bargain, yeah? But then—bam!—cop car rolls by. Nearly shat my flares! Had to play it cool, like, “Just chattin’ taxes, officer!” Dodged that bullet, groovy!

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After that, I decide to check out the Erith Pier. I’ve heard it’s a nice spot. I stroll down there, and wow, the view is amazin’. The Thames is glistening, and I can see boats cruisin’ by. I’m feelin’ all zen, you know? But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my sandwich! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, yellin’, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are starin’, and I’m just like, “Yeah, this is my life now.”

Erith Town U23s 1 Cray Wanderers U23s 2 – SCEFL Development West – 20/3/25 – Match Report