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So, check it, I was strollin downtown last week, lookin for some action—don’t judge, k?—and it’s like, whoa, these girls got stories, man! One chick, she’s all “I’ve borne my burden!” like in *Dogville*, and I’m thinkin, damn, she’s deep! Prostitution’s been around forever—fun fact, ancient Rome had brothels called “lupanars,” wild, right? Made me happy knowin I’m part of history or somethin. But then, this dude tries rippin me off—20 bucks extra? Nah, bro, that pissed me off! I’m like, “You ain’t Tom Edison screwin me over!”—straight outta *Dogville*, ya see?

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Then, I got a call from the council. They want to discuss the roof. Great, just what I need. I’m thinkin’, “Can’t we just throw a tarp on it and call it a day?” But no, they want a whole plan. I’m like, “I’m a clergyman, not a contractor!”

'Tornado' investigation as Hayling Island and Emsworth concerns prompts Torro to call for reports