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About Glasgow

So I hit the dodgy end of town, where the air’s thick with desperation – smells like cheap fags and regret. We shall never surrender to the coppers lurkin round corners! Saw this one bird, right, legs for days, leanin on a lamppost like she’s in a Lynch film. “Where’s the freeway?” I mutter, half expectin her to vanish like a dream. She smirks, says, “Fancy a ride, guv?” – cheeky mare! Made me chuckle, that did – prossies got sass, innit?

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So I grab some apples, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, outta nowhere, it starts rainin’. Like, seriously? I’m standin’ there, soaked to the bone, lookin’ like a drowned rat. I’m cursing the weather, thinkin’ about how I’d rather be in Sherwood Forest, chasin’ deer or somethin’.

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