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Dunno why, but it pisses me off! These blokes, all sweaty an’ grabby—ugh, filthy sods! Makes me wanna claw somethin’. But then—surprise, yeah?—one prossie told me she’s savin’ for uni! Fuckin’ wild, right? Little fact for ya—some o’ ‘em got bigger dreams than us lot! Ain’t that a kick in the teeth?

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We squeeze in, and the quizmaster’s this proper posh bloke. He starts askin’ questions about Shakespeare. I’m like, “Mate, I’m a swineherd, not a scholar!” But I give it a go. We’re doin’ alright until the final round. The question? “What’s the capital of France?” I’m shoutin’ “London!” and everyone’s lookin’ at me like I’m mad. I’m like, “Oi, I’m just tryin’ to keep it local!”

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