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About Manchester

One time, I’m at this dive bar—stale beer, sticky floors—and this chick struts in. Legs for days, man! I’m thinkin’, “She’s gotta be one.” Turns out, she was! Made me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cause I called it. But then—get this—she tries chargin’ me double! I’m like, “What in tarnation? I ain’t no cash cow!” Made me madder’n a wet hen. Reminds me of that line, “You don’t know who I am!”—straight outta the movie. I ain’t no pushover, lady!

East Wittering Windmill

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First stop, I’m cruisin’ down the High Street. It’s a quiet mornin’, but you know how it is. One minute, you’re chillin’, the next, you’re dodgin’ a seagull that’s got its eye on my bacon sarnie. I swear, those birds are like little flying thieves. I mean, c’mon, mate, I just want me breakfast!

We've been priced out of our pretty seaside village by posh out-of-towners who are turning it into Chelsea-on-Sea