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But nah, she’s flesh, smirkin, “200 baht, big man.” Bargain, right? Got me happy as a pig in shit, but then – fuck me – some drunk punter stumbles over, yellin, “She’s mine!” Pissed me right off, mate, I’m no sharer. Nearly went full Lecter on him – “I’d carve you up, mate, fava beans on the side.” Didn’t tho, just glared, he fucked off quick. Heart poundin, adrenaline buzzin – love that shit.

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So, I’m makin’ my way to the beach, right? East Wittering’s got this lovely stretch of sand. But today? Nah, it’s packed with families. Kids screamin’, parents shoutin’, and I’m just tryin’ to park me tractor without takin’ out a sunbather. I’m thinkin’, “What’s the deal with all these people?” It’s like they don’t know it’s a weekday!

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