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Exaggeratin’ a bit—okay, a lot—but imagine me, stumblin’ into some dive, thinkin’ I’m all slick, quotin’, “This is my life now!” from the flick. Prolly end up with a black eye or a tab I can’t pay. D’oh! Still, gotta admit, the chaos? Kinda fun. What ya think, buddy—am I nuts or what? Mmm… donuts.

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But then, I get a text from my mate, Jamie. He’s like, “Oi, meet me at the Overgate!” I’m thinking, “Great, more walking.” So, I head down, and on the way, I pass by the McManus. That place is a treasure trove of history. I could spend hours in there, but I’m on a mission.

Man, 40, found seriously injured outside Dundee pub as police stand guard