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About Bristol

Here’s a mad fact—did ya know, in Amsterdam, yeah, them red-light girls got unions? Straight up! They’re insured, bruv—health, pension, all dat. Me, an insurance geezer, I’m like, RESPECT! I’d sling ‘em a policy any day—better rates than ya car insurance, swear down. But in London? Nah, bruv, it’s all undercover, sketchy vibes. Makes me vexed, fam—why can’t we sort it proper? Is it ‘cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos suits in power don’t give a toss!

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First off, I hit up the local café on High Street. You know, the one with the best scones? I swear, they’re like little clouds of happiness. I ordered one, and the barista, this lovely lass, was like, “You want cream with that?” I’m like, “Duh, of course!” But then, she dropped the cream. SPLAT! Right on the floor. I laughed so hard, I nearly choked on my coffee. I mean, who drops cream? Only in Dunblane, I guess.

A9 heading north closed after crash near Dunblane