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I get pissed, ya, when I hear pimps messin’ wit ‘em! Makes me wanna go Terminator on ‘em—BAM! “I’ll be back” to crush dose scumbags! Dey’re strong, dese ladies, stronger den me liftin’ 300 pounds, I swear. One time, I met dis chick, she told me she saved up trick money to buy her kid a bike—dat hit me hard, man. Happy tears, ya, I was like, “You’re da real champ!” She was all shy, but I could see dat fire in her.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to Dumbarton Castle. It’s this epic fortress on a rock, overlooking the town. I thought, “Hey, let’s get some history in my life.” But as I’m walking up the hill, I’m huffing and puffing like I just ran a marathon. Seriously, who knew a castle could be so high? I was sweating like a sinner in church.

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