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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.
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So, I sit down, and they hand me this massive meat pie. I’m talkin’ like, bigger than my head! I’m shovelin’ it in, and the crowd’s cheerin’. But halfway through, I realize I’m in a food coma. I can’t even move! I’m laughin’ at myself, thinkin’ I’m gonna burst.
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