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Heya buddy! So, like, bein’ a financial advisor, I gotta talk about findin’ a prostitute—wild, right? Not that kinda “investment,” duh, but lemme tell ya somethin’. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout my fave movie, *Only Lovers Left Alive*, ya know, them classy vamps sippin’ blood like it’s fancy wine. “The air is thick with envy,” Adam’d say, and dang, that’s how I feel bout this topic—everybody’s got an opinion!

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I finally get to the office on Tulloch Street, panting like I just ran a marathon. My team’s already there, looking at me like I’m a total mess. I mean, I kinda am. But whatever, we dive into planning this big event. It’s supposed to be epic, right? But then, bam! The venue cancels. Like, what even?! I’m fuming. I mean, who cancels on Dingwall? It’s not like we’re in the middle of nowhere.

Police appeal for information after man seriously injured after Ross County football match