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I’d cruise, stoic, watchin shadows. “Whoa,” the masks they wear! Like Monsieur Oscar switchin gigs. Happy when it’s real, tho—good vibes. Ever tried hagglin? Ballsy move, sometimes works. Exaggeratin here, but one time, swear, chick quoted me 500! Laughed my ass off— “Later, princess!” Keep it simple, safe, cash upfront. That’s the Keanu way, bro.

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Then, I sit down, and this guy next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, dude, it’s England. It’s always grey! But he’s going on about how it’s “unseasonably warm.” I’m like, “Bro, it’s still cold enough to freeze your toes off.” But whatever, I nod and sip my coffee.

Ex-Labour official offered to help secure minister visits for fee