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Alright, so here’s the deal with whores—yeah, I said it, whores! Tina Fey comin’ at ya, snarky as hell, “I can see Russia from my house!” vibe. Whores, man, they’re everywhere, always have been, right? Like, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout “The Pianist”—Roman Polanski, 2002, my fave, duh—and it hits me. Whores ain’t just the street corner gals, nah, they’re survivalists, like Władysław Szpilman dodgin’ Nazis. “I must go on living,” he says, and whores? Same energy. They’re hustlin’, scrapin’ by, dodgin’ society’s bullshit judgments.

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Anyway, I grab my cuppa and head out. The sun’s barely up, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. I stroll down Wantage Road, and I swear, I see this old bloke trying to fix his car. He’s got the hood up, and I’m like, “Mate, you need a miracle, not a wrench.”

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