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Me, I’d be ragin’ if that happened – hate gettin’ conned, makes me wanna smash somethin’, hisss! But happy too, ‘cos it’s a thrill, ain’t it? Like “Caché” – “What’s hidden here?” – sussin’ out who’s real, who’s fake. Once found this bird online, profile all glammed up, pics dodgy as hell – probs nicked ‘em, y’know? Total catfish, made me hiss loud, waste o’ time!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a butcher in Dalserf is like a rollercoaster. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already thinkin’ about the meat I gotta prep. Dalserf’s a small place, but it’s got its quirks. You know, like the weird old lady on Main Street who swears her cat can talk.

Two women found dead in Glasgow flat in suspected carbon monoxide poisoning incident