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Here’s the deal tho—findin’ a prostitute ain’t rocket science, but it’s got layers. Back in the day, you’d hit up some sketchy corner, dodge the cops, pray ya don’t get knifed. Now? Bro, it’s all digital—apps, encrypted chats, like orderin’ a damn burrito on DoorDash. Efficiency’s up 300%, risk’s down, but the vibes? Kinda sterile. I miss the chaos, the rawness—makes me wanna yell, “Wake up, Alicia!” like in the movie, ‘cause this sanitized hustle’s puttin’ me to sleep.

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Then, outta nowhere, the fire alarm goes off! I’m like, “What the actual heck?” Turns out, some numpty at the bakery down the street burnt their scones. I mean, who burns scones? So, we all pile out onto the street, and I’m standin’ there in my apron, lookin’ like a right muppet.

Police called to disturbance in Larkhall arrested man who had been seen carrying knife