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Sarcasm? “Oh, luv, you’re my one true!” – bollocks! They say it every night, don’t they? Humor? Mate, one gal told me she’s “off-duty” – on cam! Hiss! Laughed me head off! Chat’s wild – some punters beg, some bark. Me? I just watch, thinkin’, “It’s all copies, copies, copies!” – Kiarostami’d get it, yesss.

Dalgety Bay at a glance*

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So, I finally find a spot to plop down. I’m settlin’ in, ready to soak up some rays, when this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! Like, really? I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my lunch, and you gotta be a thief? I’m shoutin’, “Oi! That’s my sarnie!” But the bird just looks at me like, “What you gonna do about it?” Ugh, I was fumin’!

Radioactive particles found one year after clean-up efforts at Scots bay