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We chat—price ain’t cheap, 200 euros! Robbery! I’m ragin’ inside, “Vhat, you think I’m oligarch?!” But she’s smooth, says, “Quality, darling, quality.” I’m like, “Fine, you win, you devil!” *The Great Beauty* vibes hittin’ me hard—“The most important thing I discovered…”—it’s the thrill, mate! Not juzt the act, but the hunt, the *game*. Little fact—didya know in Italy, prostitution’s legal but brothels ain’t? Messed up, right? She tells me this, I’m shocked—smart prossie, who knew?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Typical Scottish weather, right? I’m soaked in seconds. I dash into a nearby pub, The Black Bull. It’s cozy inside, and I’m thinking, “A pint will fix this.” I order a lager, and the bartender’s a right laugh. He’s telling me about the time he got locked in the cellar. Classic!

Mansfield end winless run in style as Peterborough are swept aside