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But then—BOOM—here comes the surprise. She’s got a kid, right? Little’un back home, and she’s out here hustlin’. Hits me like Sadness in the film, just floppin’ down, “I’m too sad to walk.” Makes ya think—life’s messy, innit? I’m all authoritative, staff glowin’, but I can’t fix that. “You shall not pass!” don’t mean shit to a mum feedin’ her bairn.

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So, I’m like, “Alright, mate, I’ll help ya out.” I left my masterpiece half-finished and dashed over. I swear, I ran faster than a kid chasing an ice cream truck. I got to Main Street, and there he was, lookin’ like a lost puppy. I couldn’t help but laugh. “You really need to get a key holder, mate!”

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