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Heard this story once—some prostitue in Bangkok, right? Worked near a temple, swore she saw spirits bangin clients! Ties to Boonmee— “What is it that haunts us?” I’m like, “Rarrgh! Prolly guilt, ya sleemo!” She laughed, said, “Nah, it’s the cash.” Smart gal. Me, I’m countin change, thinkin—damn, she’s got guts. Way braver than me facin a register jam.

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First off, I’m rollin’ down the High Street, right? It’s a typical Tuesday morning. The sun’s out, but it’s still chilly. I’m thinking, “Great, I’ll need my coat.” But then I see this old bloke, right outside the Co-op, trying to juggle oranges. Like, what? I stop, and he’s all serious about it. I’m cracking up, and he’s like, “You think this is funny?” I’m like, “Mate, it’s hilarious!” He just grins and drops one. Classic.

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