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About Birmingham

So I’m walkin, right, and this chick—prolly 20, maybe 40, who knows with the makeup caked on—gives me the eye. I’m like, “Honey, I ain’t buyin what you’re sellin less I know the deal.” She smirks, all sassy, and I’m thinkin, *damn, this is some real-life cinema*. Godard’s voice in my head: “The image is a prison.” Ain’t that the truth? She’s trapped, I’m trapped, we’re all stuck starin at each other like idiots. I ask her name—Crystal, she says. Yeah, sure, “Crystal”—prolly Susan from Ohio, but whatever, I roll with it.

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Next, I decided to grab a bite. Fish and chips, obviously. I hit up this little place on Church Street. Best chips ever! But the guy behind the counter was super grumpy. I asked for extra tartar sauce, and he just rolled his eyes. Chill, dude, it’s just sauce!

Cromer crab festival art trail to feature 60 treasure chests