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Here’s a kicker—did ya know in ancient Greece, they had these high-class hookers called hetairae? Educated, witty, basically rockstars. Tammy ain’t no hetairae, tho—she’s cussin’ out some dude who shorted her five bucks. I’d laugh if it weren’t so sad. How’s that workin’ for ya, darlin’? I wanna shake her, yell, “You’re worth more!” But who am I, right? Just some dude ramblin’.

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First off, I’m rollin’ outta bed on James Street, and I’m already late for a meeting. Classic me, right? I’m a music editor, but today I felt more like a headless chicken. I grab my coffee from the wee café on the corner—Café Kisa, I think?—and spill half of it on my shirt. Great start, right? I’m like, “Awesome, now I smell like burnt beans.”

Owner puts popular Crieff bistro up for sale after losing wife to cancer