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About Newcastle

Little fact—oldest job ever, swear it! Ancient Rome, they had brothels—classy joints, togas optional. Wild, totally wild! So, findin’ one? Look, walk downtown, eyes open—boom, done. Or, ya know, Google it—modern times, folks. Just don’t be a dope—cops everywhere, sting ops, sneaky bastards. Pisses me off, wastes my time!

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Finally, the rain lets up, and I’m back on the street. I’m feeling a bit better, but then I trip over a cobblestone. Classic! I’m sprawled out on the pavement, and this old lady walks by. She just looks at me and says, “You alright, love?” I’m like, “Yeah, just practicing my breakdancing.” She chuckles, and I’m like, “At least someone’s got a sense of humor today.”

See inside this iconic Scottish hotel after massive refurbishment