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Funniest bit? Mate, some punters think they’re saviors. “I’ll take ya away!” they cry, like they’re Haku flyin’ off with the girl. Bollocks! Jade says one twat tried that – ended up robbed blind, pants round his ankles in a skip. Laughed me tits off at that. Sarcasm drippin’, I go, “Yeah, real knight in shinin’ armor, eh?”

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Then, I decide to head to the local music shop on The Avenue. I’m looking for some new strings. The shop’s got that classic vibe, you know? Guitars hanging everywhere, and the smell of wood and old vinyl. I’m chatting with the owner, and he tells me about this open mic night happening later. I’m like, “Count me in!”

Cranford Hospitality Field Level VIP Experience set for upcoming football season