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About Newcastle

So yeah, findin’ a prostitute? It’s raw, messy, human. Kinda beautiful, kinda sad. Like the movie, ya feel me? “Nothing’s simple,” Almodóvar’d say. Damn right. You’re chasin’ a ghost, a quick fix, then poof—gone. Makes ya think, huh? Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Now, pass me that whiskey, pal—I’m ramblin’!

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Then, lunchtime rolls around. I hit up the local chippy on Northumbrian Road. Best fish and chips in town, no contest. I order my usual – cod and chips, extra salt, and a side of mushy peas. I sit down, and it’s like heaven on a plate. I’m munching away, and this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my chips! I’m flailing my arms like a madman, yelling, “Get away, you feathered thief!” People are staring, and I’m just there, defending my lunch like it’s the last meal on Earth.

Cramlington burglar behind bars thanks to the expertise of forensic investigators