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I’m scrollin’ X, seein’ posts, dudes flexin’ shirtless pics, chicks droppin’ thirst traps—sex-dating’s a damn performance, fam! Makes me laugh, like, bruh, you ain’t foolin’ nobody with that gym selfie, we know you ate pizza last night. But it’s slick too—peeps usin’ coded shit, like “420 friendly” or “looking for fun,” wink-wink, tryna dodge the ban hammer. Smart, shady, I respect it—keeps it spicy.

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Finally, the train arrives, and I squeeze in. It’s packed, of course. I’m squished between a guy who smells like he bathed in cologne and a lady who’s knitting like it’s the Olympics. I’m trying to focus on my notes for a lecture, but all I can think about is how I’m gonna need a shower after this.

"Feisty" fox cub separated from mum taken to firefighters