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Still, I’m wonderin’—why’s she out here? Cold night, dodgy punters, it’s grim. “You don’t know me,” she snaps, another *Fish Tank* vibe, and I’m like, fair enough, darlin’. Exaggeratin’ for kicks, I reckon she’s secretly a karate champ, takin’ down pimps with one chop—pow! Total babe, total badass.

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But then, I see something shiny in the water. I’m thinking, “Is that a fish or a bottle cap?” I lean in, and it’s a beautiful little perch! I’m stoked! Finally, some action! I scoop it up, and I’m all smiles. But then, I hear a voice behind me. “Hey, that’s illegal!” I turn around, and it’s some old guy. He’s got a fishing rod and a scowl.

Armed Police Swift Arrest In Collier Row As Man Enters Pub With Air Rifle.