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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” I’m thinkin’, what’s the draw? Some dude, lonely as hell, swipes right for company. Reminds me of Benigno in the movie, carin’ for Alicia, silent and still. “The best thing is to talk to her,” he’d say, but these johns? They ain’t talkin’. They’re payin’ for silence, or moans, or whatever. Surprised me, first time I dug into it—how damn organized it is. Brothels in Nevada, legal and all, got schedules tighter than my lab’s. Girls clock in, clock out, like it’s fuckin’ Walmart.

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First off, I’m makin’ my famous sourdough. It’s my pride and joy, ya know? But then, bam! The power goes out. Just like that! I’m standin’ there in the dark, flour everywhere, like a ghost in a bakery. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just great. How am I supposed to bake without power?”

Area guide: Exploring the pretty Hertfordshire village of Codicote