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Rarrgh! Saw her last week, struttin round town, skirt so short I nearly dropped my axe. Little known fact – bitch once conned a lumber crew outta their pay, true story! Said she’d “bless em” for a price, then poof, gone with the cash. Made me mad as fuck, but also – respect, y’know? Hustle’s real. I growled at her, she just winked, like, “Calm down, furball, it’s business.”

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After that, I’m a bit on edge. I keep choppin’, but I’m jumpy. Then I see a squirrel. Just sittin’ there, lookin’ at me like I’m the weird one. I’m like, “What’s up, buddy? You got somethin’ to say?” It’s like he’s judging my lumberjack skills.

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