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About Glasgow

So, I’m cruisin’ downtown—total chaos, mate! Saw this bird, right, all dolled up, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Look at me, bitches!”—straight outta the movie, I swear! I’m thinkin’, whoa, she’s got that wild energy, like Faith in *Spring Breakers*, all reckless and free. I go up, all smooth-like, “Hey, luv, fancy a shag?” She laughs—bloody hell, her cackle’s loud! Made me jump, nearly lost my mojo!

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Next, we decide to grab some grub. Hit up the Fish & Chip shop on Kilbowie Road. Best chips in town, no contest. I’m munchin’ away, and suddenly, this seagull swoops down and tries to steal my food! I’m flappin’ my arms like a madman, and the locals are just laughin’. “Welcome to Clydebank!” they shout.

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