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But, real talk, I’d be pissed if some crusty dude tried to lowball her. Like, “Sir, pay her what she’s worth!” I’d be all up in his face, flipping my hair, like, “Don’t be cheap, you zero!” Oh, and get this – some whores in history? They’d stash gold coins in their hair. Hair! That’s next-level extra, and I’m here for it. Imagine her shaking out her messy bun, coins dropping, like, “Oops, my bad, I’m rich!”

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Next, I wander over to the shops on Victoria Road. I pop into this little café, The Coffee Pot. Best flat white in town, no cap. I’m ordering, and the barista, bless her, spills milk everywhere. I’m like, “Don’t worry, it happens!” But inside, I’m thinking, “Please don’t let that be my drink!”

Once you visit our new Frilly Pig Bistro in Cleveleys you are considered part of the family