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I swagger into this dingy tavern, eyein’ the goods. One lass, she’s got a wink like she’s Zuckerberg codin’ a scam—sharp, quick, dangerous. “I’m CEO, bitch,” she might’a said if she knew the line, haha! Made me chuckle, that did—happy as a clam, I was. But then—THEN—some bilge rat tries chargin’ me double! Double! Fer a quick tumble! Got me blood boilin’, says I, “Mate, ye think I’m a codfish to fleece?” Nearly drew me sword, but rum said nay.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish. So, I hit up this little bakery on South Street. Best sausage rolls ever! I grab one, and it’s still warm. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off, looking like a right mess.

Chichester’s veteran runners give good account at Sussex road relays – and Baker shines at Lewes