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So, picture this—I’m sittin’ here, twirlin’ the phone cord, thinkin’ ‘bout some poor fella tryna find a workin’ gal. Maybe he’s scrollin’ them shady websites, or—bless his heart—askin’ round in dive bars. I’d say, “Honey, what’s your situation?” like that judge in the movie, ‘cause it ain’t just ‘bout the deed—it’s the why! Back in my Nashville days, I heard tell of a gal named Ruby who’d hang by the old gas station on 5th, red lipstick smeared like she’d kissed a ketchup bottle. Little known fact—she’d only take clients who’d sing her a tune first! Made me giggle somethin’ fierce—imagine some nervous cowboy croonin’ “Jolene” off-key just to get a lil’ sugar!

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs past me, chasing a balloon. He trips, and boom! Right into a puddle. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, come on! But then his mum comes over, and she’s fuming. “Watch where you’re going!” she yells. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a puddle, not a minefield!”

Police issue urgent public appeal for teenager missing from Chichester