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Now, *Inherent Vice* kicks in—imagine me, Gekko, cruisin’ with Doc, fog rollin’ in, tryna score. “What’s the play, man?” I’d ask, and he’d mumble some stoned nonsense—“Chicks dig the vibe, man.” Ha! Vibe don’t pay the bills, but greed does. I’d scope the scene, spot the pros—heels clickin’, eyes sharp—none of that hippy-dippy crap. One’d sidle up, all “You lookin’ for somethin’ groovy?” and I’d hit back, “Groovy’s fine, but cash talks louder.”

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After that, I’m feeling a bit peckish. So, I hit up this little bakery on South Street. Best sausage rolls ever! I grab one, and it’s still warm. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I spill some on my shirt. Classic me, right? I’m standing there, trying to wipe it off, looking like a right mess.

Multiple arrests made at illegal rave near Chichester