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What pisses me off tho? These fake-ass girls online, promisin’ the moon, then ghostin’ you. Waste my damn time! Surprised me once when this one broad turned out to be a dude – fuckin’ loco, right? I was like, “He was a friend to me,” quotin’ the flick again, but nah, I ain’t into that twist. Laughed it off, tho – Tony don’t cry over spilt milk, man!

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My first student, bless her, was a bundle of nerves. We hit the road on Ashgate Road, and she’s gripping the wheel like it’s a lifeline. I’m like, “Breathe, mate! It’s just a car, not a rocket ship!” But nah, she’s sweating bullets. We get to the roundabout at the top of the hill, and she panics. I’m shouting, “Go left! No, not right! AHH!” It was like a scene from a horror movie.

Town pinch play-off place on last day of season after narrow win at Accrington - report