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One time, I’m chattin’ up this bird – total fox, yeah? She’s all, “Ten quid, love.” And I’m like, “Groovy, baby!” But then – surprise! – she’s got a pimp lurkin’, uglier than a smashed avocado. Made my mojo dip, man! Thought I’d have to karate-chop my way outta that one. Reminded me of that whale in *Werckmeister* – ya see it comin’, but it still freaks ya out, yeah?

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First off, I’m cruising down Station Road, thinking about my next big project. You know, the one that’ll make me a legend in the art world. But then, BAM! Roadworks everywhere. Like, come on! It’s 2023, can’t we get some decent roads? I’m stuck behind this ancient bus, and it’s moving slower than a snail on a Sunday stroll. I’m fuming, like, “Hurry up, mate!”

Major road shuts after 'serious accident' with pedestrian fighting for life