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About London

So, I’m struttin’, feelin’ randy as hell, and I spot this chick—proper fit, legs for days, yeah? She’s givin’ me the eye, like, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—y’know, that poetic jazz from the film. I’m like, “Groovy, baby, let’s shag!” But—plot twist—she’s dodgy, man! Charges me double, says it’s “inflation, love.” Inflation my arse! Made me mad as a hatter—nearly lost my mojo there.

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So, I’m trudging through the puddles, and I see this old lady on the corner of Bridge Street. She’s tryin’ to cross, but her walker’s stuck in a pothole. I rush over, help her out, and she’s like, “Bless you, dear!” I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, bless me for bein’ late!” But it felt good, y’know?

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