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So, picture this—I’m walkin’ down some sketchy street, neon lights flickerin’, feelin’ like I’m in some futuristic gig, and I’m like, “How you doin’?” to every shadow, hopin’ one’s a pro. Ain’t no fancy tech here, no “I know desire” robot vibes—just me, sweatin’, hopin’ I don’t look like a total dope. Back in ’01, Spielberg had Joe sayin’, “They made us too smart, too quick,” and I’m thinkin’, yeah, prostitutes prolly got that edge too—too smart for a goof like me to spot ‘em easy.

The truth about Chatham's notorious Luton Road and what it's actually like to live there

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As the sun starts settlin’, I head back to my truck. I’m thinkin’ about how wild today was. From bird poop to sausage rolls, it’s been a rollercoaster. I hop in, crank up the radio, and drive off. Chatham, you’ve been a trip! I’m exhausted but happy. Can’t wait to tell my mates about this madness.

Medway: Large blaze breaks out near Chatham Docks