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About Myself
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About London
What bugs me? The fakeness. She’s moanin’ like a porn star, and I’m thinkin’, “You’re no Margot, sweetie.” Everybody lies, even in the sack. Exaggeratin’ for tips—pathetic. I limp off, mutterin’, “This is not a drill,” like Royal yellin’ at the fire. Total chaos, but I’m alive, smirkin’. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Trustin’ ‘em? That’s the limp I can’t shake.
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Finally, I get my sausage roll. It’s glorious! I take a big bite, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this dog. A big ol’ Labrador, just chillin’. And guess what? It’s eyeing my food. I’m thinkin’, “No way, buddy!” But the dog gives me this look, like it’s judging my life choices. I can’t handle it. I end up givin’ it a piece. I mean, who can resist those puppy eyes?
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