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Here’s a tip, y’all: they got code words. “Lookin’ for a good time?”—that’s the signal. Ain’t no secret handshake, but it’s close. Surprised me first time I heard it—thought she was just bein’ friendly! Ha! What a numbskull I was. Another thing—some gals got pimps, shadowy types lurkin’ like Viggo Mortensen in that diner scene. Creepy as hell, keeps ya on edge.

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Finally, I get to the café, and guess what? They’re closed for a private event. I’m standing there like an idiot, holding these mugs, and the barista just gives me this sympathetic look. I’m like, “Great, just great.” So, I decide to pop into the pub down the road, The Chalford Inn. Maybe a pint will help, right?

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