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About Liverpool

What pisses me off? The judgement, man! Folk actin’ all high and mighty, like they ain’t never sinned. Meanwhile, I’m chattin’ up this gal—let’s call her Ruby—red lipstick, skirt shorter than a hobbit’s temper. She’s got sass, says, “Wot’s a wizard want with me?” I’m like, “Lass, even I need a laugh!” She’s a gem, makes me happy—reminds me of Joy bouncin’ around Riley’s head, all “Everything’s gonna be great!” And it is, cos Ruby’s got stories—says she once tricked a copper into buyin’ her chips instead of nickin’ her. Clever bird!

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As the sun starts settlin’, I head back home, thinkin’ about how wild today was. Chafford Hundred, you crazy little place, you never fail to surprise me. From lost old blokes to skateboard wipeouts, it’s all part of the charm. I can’t wait to see what tomorrow brings.

Two police officers hurt after being punched and run over by driver trying to flee traffic stop in Essex