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But arrgh, the stench o’ greed – them fins again! Some ports, they hack ‘em off, leave her sinkin’. Boils me blood, it does – worse’n a navy frigate on me tail. She’s a queen, not chum! An’ here’s a yarn – old whalers thought whores were omens, bringin’ storms. Rubbish, says I – she’s just swimmin’, mindin’ her own. Surprised me, that tale – folk be daft as a barrel o’ eels.

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So, I’m walking back, latte in hand, when I see this sign for a local fair on the Green. I thought, “Why not?” I mean, who doesn’t love a good fair? I get there, and it’s packed! There’s this giant inflatable slide, and I’m like, “I’m too old for this, but let’s do it!” So, I climb up, and as I’m sliding down, I feel like a kid again. Pure joy!

Drivers taken to hospital after M6 crash near Carnforth