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Gets me goin’, tho – the cheek of it! Some punters think they’re just arm candy, but nah, these girls got game. One time, this escort I knew, she nicked a bloke’s wallet mid-chat, left him gobsmacked in a Mayfair penthouse. Laughed my arse off when she told me. “The past is a distant country,” like *Tabu* says – she was livin’ it, rewritin’ her story every night.

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Then, I hit up the local café on North Road. I needed caffeine, like, yesterday. I ordered a latte, and the barista was super friendly. We started chatting about game design, and I was like, “Wow, this is cool.” But then, my drink took forever. I was standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, I’ve got a game to design!” Finally, I got my latte, but it was lukewarm. Ugh!

Independent accountancy firm acquires Carnforth practice