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What pisses me off? Them prudes judgin’ it—fuck ‘em! Ain’t hurtin’ nobody, just relievin’ stress, ya know? Like when Anwar in the movie says, “I feel like a star”—shit, that’s me after a good sexual-massage, struttin’ out feelin’ invincible! Happiest damn moment? When the chick—yeah, it was a chick—hit that spot I didn’t even know I had! Fuckin’ magical, man! Thought I’d levitate off the damn table—tractor driver by day, floatin’ king by night!

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Then, I hit up the local café on North Road. I needed caffeine, like, yesterday. I ordered a latte, and the barista was super friendly. We started chatting about game design, and I was like, “Wow, this is cool.” But then, my drink took forever. I was standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, I’ve got a game to design!” Finally, I got my latte, but it was lukewarm. Ugh!

Future of Carnforth Station Heritage Centre in safe hands ahead of Brief Encounter’s 80th anniversary