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This chick, she’s standin’ there, all “business is business,” like Aldo R Uticon sayin’ “We’re in the killin’ game!” Laughed my arse off—her wig’s crooked, teeth missin’, but she’s got sass. “Ten bucks, love,” she hisses, and I’m like, “What?! We wants quality, precious!” Made me mad, mate—ten bucks for that? Pfft, scalpin’ Nazis cheaper! But then, surprise—she’s got a mate who’s proper fit, hidden round the corner. Little known fact, yeah? They team up, like them Basterds plottin’.

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First off, I decided to hit up the Carnforth train station. It’s this old-school beauty, like, super historic. I mean, it’s where they filmed that classic movie, Brief Encounter. I was just there to grab some inspiration for my game design. You know, trains, journeys, all that jazz. But as soon as I got there, I realized I’d left my notebook at home. Classic me, right? I was like, “Great, just great.”

Carnforth publican and three-times mayor dies aged 71