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Oi, mate, it’s me, Tyrion Lannister—witty, “I drink and I know things.” So, here’s the deal bout findin a prostitute, yeah? Picture this—me, stumblin through the grubby streets, lookin for a bit o’ company, right? Like in *The Grand Budapest Hotel*, all fancy on the outside but dodgy underneath—“The life we enjoy is worth the price we pay.” I’m half-pissed on wine, thinkin, “Where’s the fun at?”

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After a while, they let us back in. Turns out, it was just a burnt toast incident in the break room. I mean, come on! Who can’t make toast? Anyway, I finally find the Johnson file, and it’s in the most ridiculous place—under a pile of old takeaway menus. Seriously, who keeps that stuff?

Cambuslang cops called to two-vehicle crash near primary school