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About Glasgow

I see dis one gal—proper fit, lips redder than a slapped arse. I’m like, “Oi, love, how’s it hangin’?” She’s givin’ me the eye, sussin’ me out. Reminds me of Lancaster Dodd screamin’, “You can’t tame what’s wild!”—and bruv, she’s wild as fuck. I’m thinkin’, shit, dis could be a laugh or a total mare. Last time I tried dis, some geezer rolled up, all aggro, shoutin’ she’s his. Got me ragin’—I ain’t here for drama, just a quick shag!

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After that, I wandered down to the River Cam. It’s beautiful there, right? But today, it was packed with tourists. I mean, come on! I just wanted a moment of peace. But no, there were these punters everywhere, and they were all like, “Ooh, look at the bridge!” I wanted to shout, “Yeah, it’s just a bridge, chill out!”

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